WHAT WOMEN WHANTS FROM SEX?
The women who responded to Shere Hite’s invitation to tell their sexual experiences were, in general, disappointed by their lover’s sexual techniques, although they often loved the man deeply. The men seemed largely insensitive to the woman’s sexual needs, and often unwilling to experiment. They knew that a woman wanted ‘foreplay’ (by which they meant a cursory kiss, a brief fumbling with her breasts, and a perfunctory caress around her vulva) after which the man could get on with what he really wanted. That was to insert his penis into the woman’s vagina, thrust, and ejaculate. And after that? Well, a man feels contented and wants to sleep, which does not help the woman much. One woman wrote, ‘Most of the men I’ve slept with have had absolutely no idea of what I want and no interest in finding out.’ Another, ‘I find a lot of men care nothing about sex foreplay and are only interested in “getting it off”.’ Another, ‘I’ve only had sex with my husband … he always initiates it. We kiss and he plays with my breasts. He puts one hand down and sticks his finger into my vagina and moves it back and forth like a penis would go . . . When he’s ready … he sticks his penis into me and moves it back and forth until he finishes.’ Another, ‘Some men just feel, finger and fuck. Then come and light a cigarette.’
These comments are multiplied, with variations, in The Hite Report, and from them it seems that many American men are insensitive to a woman’s sexual needs, while most women are inarticulate in asking their lover to satisfy those needs. Sex is more than friction and fantasy! Sex means communication. Sex means mutual pleasuring. Sex means closeness and body contact.
*120/16/1*
